Dull
June 2, 2008
Feels like I posted yesterday. Time passes, my presence transient. I went off medication for a while, depression of judgment settled snugly against mood and intellect. Little substance abuse, no help anymore. My escapist options have narrowed to unconsciousness. Rendered on couches and foam mats, always fully dressed. Waking to feel displaced. As though I slipped into another world, almost identical to my own. The subtle difference that I don’t belong, a me shaped peg in a stranger shaped hole.
I’m slowly accepting the truth my shrink offers. The promise of a normal fulfilling existence being but a few neuro-chemical experiments away. Desperately dodging the philosophical implications in the meantime; until I have a normal fulfilling existence, at which point I’m unlikely to mind terribly much. I just need a good pharmacologist, a little moral support and another few weeks of downtime.
I hope.
Tags: Depression
